Or as I like to call it... how I crawled through hell, licked the flames, and came back swinging with a flamethrower.
Hey — I’m Jonathan Floor.
But you can call me John...
And no, I’m not another coach with a Canva framework and a selfie stick, blowing hot air from the front seat of a rented Audi.
I didn’t get into this game because I wanted to be a “marketing guru.”
I got into it because I was bleeding cash, burning time, and tired of pretending I had it all figured out.
It all started back in 2018...
I was running a carpentry company with a mate.
Solid work. Big dreams.
But not a hint of a marketing system.
We’d wake up and go “job hunting.”
Literally.
Scrolling websites, chasing leads, pitching strangers
Hands-on, door to door.
Every. Damn. Day.
If I didn’t sell, we didn’t eat.
If I did sell, I couldn’t go out and sell again tomorrow — because I was stuck swinging hammers on the job I just sold.
Sound familiar?
It was a never-ending see-saw of stress (and a lot of cold black coffee).
Work = no time for sales.
Sales = no time to work.
A recipe for insanity.
That was my first taste of business ownership.
And it tasted like regret, burnout, and constant uncertainty.
But even then, something in me said:
“This can’t be it.”
There had to be a better way....
So like every desperate entrepreneur with a dream and a YouTube account, I started another business…
A coaching brand.
And that’s what cracked open the rabbit hole.
Since 2014, I’d already been knee-deep in personal development.
Certified life coach.
NLP. Hypnosis. Inner work. All of it.
I figured — hell, I’ll use what I know and help people.
So I launched “Intuitive Coaching”
Cute, naïve and brutally painful.
What followed was a masterclass in failure.
I went all in on guesswork — and reality grabbed me by the balls, twisted, and crushed the hope of four generations out of me.
- I signed up for every ‘6-figure secret’ course and ended up with 6 figures of frustration.
- Guzzled the Kool-Aid guru potion like it was holy water...
- Tried Instagram DMs like a desperate frat boy on spring break (horny, broke, and hoping for a miracle)...
- Launched funnels that leaked harder than a township roof in a hailstorm...
- Posted ‘feel-good’ quotes no one gave a shit about...
- Started email lists I didn’t know how to warm up, write for, or even open. I basically ghosted myself...
- Burned stacks of cash on Facebook ads with no clear offer...
- Built “pretty” websites that stroked my ego and made me feel legit...
I was doing all the "right" things — except what actually works.
Just spinning my wheels, bleeding time and cash into the void.
Let me tell you something, friend…
Trying to grow a business without a marketing system is like eating a bowl of fire ants…While riding a unicycle…Through a minefield… Blindfolded……with your pants around your ankles.
And just when you think it can’t get worse...
You trip face-first into a steaming pile of guru "advice" from people who’ve never built anything but a content calendar.
"This is the kind of marketing advice that should be illegal. Don’t join unless you’re serious about making money." - Patrick Visser
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I wasted years of my life in that fog.
And here’s the part that really pisses me off:
I wasn’t alone.
Everywhere I looked, I saw the same story.
Smart business owners like you running themselves into the ground...
Not because they were stupid.
But because they were following stupid advice.
Hard-working people who started businesses to give their families a better life... and were dying inside.
Because they thought the problem was:
“I just need more followers.”
“Maybe my brand isn’t strong enough.”
“Maybe I’m not posting enough value.”
Bullsh*t.
That wasn’t the problem.
The problem was they didn’t have a real system.
A client-getting machine built for real small businesses with real budgets.
They were guessing…
Modeling big brand corporates who spend millions on "awareness."
Drinking the Kool-Aid from Insta-gurus who've never sold anything but courses about selling.
Posting and praying...
Throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping it turned into money...
And that's when I hit my breaking point:
“F*ck this! There’s gotta be another way.”
So I went all-in on
direct response marketing
And everything changed.
I stopped focusing on likes and started focusing on leads.
I stopped “posting for visibility” and started crafting offers that actually closed.
I built funnels with a plan and structure.
Wrote savage copy that finally sold.
And I built a client-getting marketing machine.
And guess what?
Clients started coming to me.
Cash started flowing in — predictably.
My businesses scaled.
I bought back my time, my sanity, and my confidence.
Even helped my sister go from 3 years of struggle...
To shutting off her ads and tripling her prices — in under 90 days.
Why I Built Brass Balls Marketing...
Because here’s the cold truth:
Most entrepreneurs are doing everything “right”…
Except the one thing that actually matters.
They're posting.
They're grinding.
They're “offering their services.”
But without a marketing system that predictably attracts and converts premium clients, it’s all smoke and noise.
Busywork in a tuxedo.
So in 2024, I decided to stop fighting this war alone.
I reached out to the most savage marketers I knew — guys who'd been in the trenches for over a decade...
Battle-tested warriors who'd built marketing systems for some of the biggest brands across the world...
Collectively, we'd engineered over 1,000 funnels...
Across 127+ industries...
Proven our methods in 1,067+ different niches...
And generated millions in revenue for clients who were stuck exactly where I used to be.
We banded together under one mission:
To build marketing systems so effective, they should come with a warning label.
That's when Brass Balls Marketing was officially born.
Not as another "agency."
But as a brotherhood of marketing assassins dedicated to one thing:
Flooding your business with clients and cash.
We built Brass Balls Marketing for the underdogs.
The misfits.
The guys who had the balls to leave the 9-5 but now feel stuck in a slow-motion panic.
I’m not here to motivate you.
I’m not your guru.
I’m here to hand you a weapon.
A marketing system that finally f*cking works
So you can win...
I am dedicated to flooding your business with clients and cash
so If I cant help you make more money...
then I don't deserve to take yours.
I’ve walked the long way.
The dark way.
The “throw-your-laptop-out-the-window-and-scream” way.
So if you’re tired of pretending things are “fine”…
If you’re done duct-taping your business together with hope and hashtags…
If you’re ready to build something savage, scalable, and so solid it feels illegal... (*but its not - I pinky swear*)
Let’s build your marketing system...
before someone else eats your lunch.
Talk soon
John Floor
Founder & Chief Marketing Assassin, Brass Balls Marketing
P.S. You're in the business of getting clients, and nothing does that better than bold, direct response marketing that actually converts.
Every online business is different, employing different strategic approaches and organizational structures, and offering different products and services. Therefore, individual results will vary from user to user. YOUR BUSINESS’ INDIVIDUAL RESULTS WILL VARY DEPENDING UPON A VARIETY OF FACTORS UNIQUE TO YOUR BUSINESS, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO YOUR CONTENT, BUSINESS MODEL, AND PRODUCT AND SERVICE OFFERINGS.